Chapter Eleven: A Struggle Between Heaven and Man

Miss Lin launched a relentless assault on my three corners, and I did my best to counter every move, striving to hold my ground. She did not attempt a direct kill of my black stones, instead confining me to the corners where I barely survived, while she herself built formidable walls of white influence on the outside. Observing the board as a whole, her powerful formations echoed each other, and a vast shape took form before my eyes.

I examined the situation and was startled: if I allowed her framework to solidify into territory, I would undoubtedly lose. Resolute, I slapped a black stone down into the heart of her white formation.

Miss Lin bent over the board, thinking deeply for some time. Then, beside my stone, she played a leaning move, initiating an attack on me. Thus began our fierce exchange: I extended, she cut, I captured, she connected...

The situation was clear: if I could manage to live in the center, her territory would not suffice. But if she destroyed my central group, I would lose by a wide margin. Miss Lin, a first-rank professional, lived up to her reputation, relentlessly attacking my central dragon. Using her vast influence, she unleashed a torrent of strong moves, refusing to let me form two eyes.

I was in agony. Tugging at my hair and clutching my head, I pondered each move at length. Twice I stepped outside for a cigarette, returning each time to continue my desperate calculations.

As the board grew smaller, my central dragon expanded, still struggling for life. Suddenly, in a long contemplation, I spotted a brilliant move: a subtle excavating play that could create a ko out of thin air. If I won the ko, I would capture her two vital stones in the center, and my black dragon would instantly live. Surveying the whole board, I realized that due to early attacks, all four corners had already been settled, and there were no other significant ko threats. This was the biggest ko on the board; nothing else compared. I had at least two built-in ko threats with my dragon, placing me in an unassailable position. The discovery thrilled me—I fidgeted with excitement. Calculating again, even if we exchanged ko threats and she took one of my corners, I would still be ahead by more than fifteen points, my victory secure.

Lifting my teacup, I took a hearty sip, then picked up a black stone and, with thunderous momentum, slammed it down on the board: the excavating move!

Miss Lin, seeing my play, uttered a surprised "Oh?" and fell into thought. After a long pause, she lifted her clear, bright eyes to gaze at me and said, "I concede. With a three-stone handicap, I can't beat you. Where did you learn to play? I don't believe I've seen you here before."

I smiled, "This is my first time here. I learned Go at university, but I haven't played in a long while—I feel a bit rusty."

She shook her head. "Your game is quite good. I think you're at least an amateur 3-dan." Though young, she spoke with the air of a seasoned veteran. Tossing a white stone onto the board to signify her resignation, she stood up and said, "Fifty yuan, pay the boss." With that, she headed into the back room and did not reappear.

The onlookers, seeing me defeat Miss Lin, seemed impressed by my skill and each wanted to play a game with me. Glancing at my watch, I saw it was nearly eleven and declined their invitations, paid my dues and tea, and left the Go club.

Back home, after eating two bowls of rice, I shut myself in my room. For some reason, I found myself thinking again of Qiu Xieqin from high school, and her heartfelt confession to me on graduation night.

A thousand emotions welled up within me. Someone who had loved me so deeply and for so long, and who was so beautiful—why had I never felt moved? Fate is truly unfathomable. I took out my phone and brought up Qiu Xieqin’s number, just staring at it.

Should I give Qiu Xieqin a chance?

I was torn inside.

To be fair, in terms of looks and family background, Qiu Xieqin was a remarkable match. Some might even say I wasn't quite worthy of her. What reason did I have to hesitate when such a woman liked me?

But her personality was what gave me pause. Outgoing, lively, restless, and changeable—none of those would matter so much, but what held me back was her inherent flirtatiousness. Although she professed deep feelings for me, she would tease and charm every man who approached her; that was simply her nature. Over these eight years, how many boyfriends had she had? Even she might have lost count. I wasn't particularly strict about a woman's chastity, but knowing she had been intimate with so many men left a heavy, unspoken discomfort in my heart.

No matter how I thought about it, I couldn’t decide. Frustrated, I gave up on the matter. I poured myself a glass of hot water, lit a cigarette, and turned on the TV to watch without much interest.

Soon after, my phone rang again. The caller ID showed it was my colleague, Zhao Yanjin. "Hey, Tang, what are you up to?"

"Nothing much, just watching TV at home."

"How boring! Hey, I've got two tickets to the Xu Shu concert tonight. Want to come with me? Li Xiaoling's been begging for them, but I haven’t given in! How’s that for brotherhood?"

"Forget it, I’m not in the mood. Take your girlfriend instead."

"Ah! She’s out of town at the moment, and I’m dying of loneliness. Listen, Tang, you need to lighten up. Why dwell on things? If one place doesn’t keep you, another will. With your talent, you could make a name for yourself anywhere. Don’t stew—come out and have some fun. How about it? Xu Shu is something else—her singing’s incredible, and her dancing... man, she’s got an angel’s face and a devil’s figure. This is your chance to forget your troubles!"

"Thanks, man. I know you’re worried about me and trying to cheer me up, but I’m not being dramatic—I really have something to do tonight, so I can’t make it."

"Is that so? Well, nothing I can do. Don’t regret it—I’ll give the tickets to Li Xiaoling, then?"

"Go ahead, I don’t mind."

"Sigh! Let’s catch up later. Take care!"

"Thanks. Goodbye."

I tossed my phone aside, but that call only brought back all the things that troubled me. Should I resign on my own accord? If I was going to, I’d have to submit my resignation first thing Monday morning, or I might not have time before the general manager returned and fired me outright. Frowning, anxious and restless, I thought it over and decided I’d have to make up my mind by tomorrow—no more wavering.

Time crawled by, but the moment my little sister had been excitedly waiting for finally drew near. After dinner, she called her classmates and arranged to go together to the sports arena. Glancing at my watch, I saw it was only six—still two hours until the concert began.

At 6:15, my sister left the house.

At 6:45, Dad went next door to play chess with old Uncle Wang.

At 6:57, Mom said to me, "Xiao Qian, you’re staying in tonight? I’m heading over to Mrs. Li, the neighborhood committee chief, for a chat. I’ll be back soon."

"Mom, are you really going out in this heavy snow?"

"What can I do? I promised yesterday, and it’s not far—just a few steps away."

"Be careful. The snow makes the roads slippery."

"Don’t worry!"

Now I was alone in the house. Watching TV, I suddenly felt a profound loneliness.

In that moment, I longed for someone’s company. On a whim, I dialed Qiu Xieqin’s number.

"Qiu Xieqin? It’s me. Didn’t you say you wanted to find a quiet place to sit and talk? Where shall we go?"

"I’ve been waiting for your call. The Classic Café on Huai’an Road—let’s meet there in half an hour, okay? You have to come!"

"Alright, see you in thirty minutes."

Half an hour later, I arrived at the Classic Café on time, only to find that for once, Qiu Xieqin was early. She had already chosen a secluded spot and, seeing me come upstairs, waved me over eagerly.

I sat down. The waiter asked for our order. I said I’d have whatever, so Qiu Xieqin chose some sort of Brazilian coffee that required fresh brewing—the name was complicated and I couldn’t remember it.

We sipped our coffee and chatted idly. Unlike our conversation in the hotel restaurant the other day, when we were strangers and cautious, tonight’s talk was different. Now, every glance from Qiu Xieqin seemed full of profound affection; everything she said expressed the depth and sincerity of her love for me. I mostly listened in silence, feeling a bit embarrassed, but also a little touched and pleased.

At one point, seeing my reticence, she pouted and stopped talking too, and the silence lasted ten minutes. Eventually, knowing my temperament wouldn’t change, she sighed and gave in: "Sigh! I could be watching Xu Shu’s concert, but here I am, practicing my patience with a block of wood like you. I can’t believe myself!"

Glancing at my watch—I saw it was almost nine. "If you hurry, you could still catch the second half."

She sighed again, but the happiness in her eyes was unmistakable. "Ah, but I like being with a block of wood, so I guess I have to accept the consequences and entertain myself."

I couldn’t help but smile. Sometimes, Qiu Xieqin was the perfect tonic for my worries, able to make me laugh no matter how troubled I felt.

Time flowed quietly and gently; before we knew it, the pot of coffee was gone. I looked at my watch—it was already ten. The concert must be ending; my sister would be on her way home.

"It’s about time—I’ll take you home," I said.

Qiu Xieqin nodded softly. I called the waiter to settle the bill, but before I could pay, she produced a gold VIP card from her purse and handed it to the waiter. "I have a VIP card—they’ll deduct it from my balance. Let me do it."

I was neither a chauvinist nor particularly wealthy, so I made no fuss and put my wallet away.

When we stepped outside, we found that the heavy snow that had fallen all day had finally stopped. I hailed a cab to take her home.

When we reached the Qifeng community, I wasn’t planning to walk her to her door, but she said, "The sensor light in my staircase is broken. It’s pitch black and I’m scared."

So I got out and walked her upstairs.

We hadn’t even reached the fifth floor when I realized she’d tricked me again. All the sensor lights from the first to the fourth floor were working perfectly. Annoyed, I coughed loudly on purpose.

Qiu Xieqin looked like a mischievous child caught in the act, her head bowed and cheeks flushed, coy and bashful. In the corridor’s bright light, I saw her eyes and brows sparkling with charm.

I knew I was in trouble. Sure enough, when she opened her door, she took my hand and said softly, "Come in, I have something more to tell you."

I knew perfectly well that once I crossed her threshold, there would be no easy escape. Yet, when she gently tugged my hand, I followed her inside.

She shut the door, switched on the lights and heater, and said, "Just sit for a while. Give me your coat." I took off my coat and handed it to her. Qiu Xieqin hung it up, then did the same with her own. Without the bulk of our coats, I noticed how perfectly proportioned her figure was; what drew my gaze and made my mouth go dry was the graceful curve of her hips—so inviting and full of temptation.

She turned and caught my gaze. Though I quickly looked away, she noticed. With an amused, exasperated smile, she pirouetted gracefully, performing a few dance steps that accentuated every line of her body. My mind went blank, my legs gave way, and I collapsed onto the sofa.

She laughed, a bewitching sound, and in a single step straddled my lap, her face only an inch from mine.

"Tang Qian, am I beautiful?"

I sat rigid, afraid to move. Her breath was fragrant as she spoke. With such a passionate, alluring woman in my lap, my body responded instinctively.

It wasn’t voluntary, but a physiological reaction beyond my control.

Her lips drew closer and closer. She whispered, "If you want, you can do anything with me. Can’t I make you fall for me?"

The temptation was overwhelming. If I wanted, I could have her then and there. But I was torn—inside, two voices battled:

"What are you hesitating for? When the flower is within reach, you must pluck it. Don’t wait until there’s nothing left! Such a passionate beauty is offering herself; why pretend to be virtuous?"

"No! You haven’t decided whether to give her a real chance. To rush into this would be irresponsible—to her, and to yourself. You must think carefully!"

"Nonsense! If you pass up what’s right in front of you, you’re a fool. She loves you, she’ll be glad to give herself to you. How is that irresponsible?"

"Are you sure you love her? Have you decided to be with her? What if you regret this in the morning? Would you tell her, ‘Sorry, I shouldn’t have, I was wrong, I won’t do it again’? Wouldn’t that be unfair to both of you?"

"If you always hesitate and overthink like this, how will you ever get anywhere? Let tomorrow take care of itself. Right now you must seize the opportunity!"

"No, you mustn’t..."

...

Qiu Xieqin had no idea of the war raging in my mind. Watching my face shift from solemn to passionate, from grim to serene, she grew worried and tapped my cheek, "Hey! Are you alright?"

Her touch snapped me out of it. "I... I’m fine. I should go," I stammered, trying to stand.

But the moment I said I was leaving, Qiu Xieqin wrapped her arms and legs around me like an octopus, refusing to let go. "No, no! I won’t let you go. You’re not escaping like you did the other night."

I tried to reason with her, "Come on, don’t be childish. Let go, be good!"

Instead, she doubled down, pouting, "No! I won’t! I don’t want to be good—I want to be childish!"

I was helpless, unsure what to do.

Just then, my phone rang. With Qiu Xieqin clinging to me, I struggled to fish it out. The screen showed it was my sister calling.