Chapter 125: Just Eat Me Then

I knew that Hua Jingjing spoke those shy words for two reasons: first, to bind me tightly to her from now on, and second, to soothe my soul with her profound love.

I was deeply moved—and grateful.

But if I recklessly slept with her now, I would be nothing but a beast.

I admitted I was lustful too. When Hua Jingjing sat on my lap and kissed me, a certain part of me stirred uncontrollably. Fortunately, my mind was still in control; I was fully aware that I could not just possess her like that. My heart belonged solely to Xu Shu, and I couldn’t imagine thinking of her while making love to another woman.

That would not only desecrate Xu Shu, but more importantly, it would be utterly unfair to Hua Jingjing, who loved me so deeply.

I gave Hua Jingjing an apologetic smile and spoke softly, “Jingjing, thank you. But I can’t hurt you now—that wouldn’t be fair to you.”

A flicker of disappointment crossed her eyes, but she forced a smile and said, “What are you talking about? I don’t understand! Did I ask you to do anything?”

Yet I knew she understood. I gently caressed her flushed cheek and said, “Jingjing, my mind is a mess right now. I don’t know what to do. You feel so deeply for me, and I’m no fool—I feel it too. But you have to give me time to think things through. I know I can’t be with that woman, but things aren’t that simple. I have too many emotional debts to pay off; my whole life won’t be enough. So I need to be sure—I truly don’t want to hurt either of you.”

She scoffed, “You’re just a blockhead! And a rotten one at that!” Then she couldn’t help but grin mischievously.

I smiled back. “Fine. Even if I’m a blockhead, you have to let me float first. I won’t lie to you—I still love that woman as deeply as you love me. I can’t forget her that quickly. It will take a long time. I hope you’ll think carefully about that.”

Pouting, she said, “Who’s that woman? She looks divine. I should go worship her, beg her to show mercy and let you go. Otherwise, when will you ever forget her, always so lost in thought?”

I gave a helpless, wry smile and said nothing. Her eyes twinkled as she said, “Of course, I’ll give you time. I already said I’ll never leave you. But you have to promise me—when that day comes, you’ll be with me, and love me properly.”

I sighed, thinking the future was for the future to deal with. God only knew if I could ever forget Xu Shu. I could never hurt Qiu Jieqin again. If possible, we should never meet again. I hoped she would find a good home. Hua Jingjing had taken the initiative to say she would never leave me; if I refused again, it would truly wound her. With her unruly nature, she might even cause a scene like the Painter incident—that would be a grave sin on my part.

What to do? I fretted for a long while, then finally made up my mind. I had to resolve the immediate problem first. “Jingjing, you’re so good to me. I, Tang Qian, am not heartless or ungrateful. If I can forget that woman, I will try to cherish you. Just don’t mind if it takes a while.”

Her face blossomed into a radiant smile, then tears welled up uncontrollably. Laughing and crying, she said, “A real man keeps his word! If you cheat, you’re a little dog!”

I smiled and gently wiped her tears. That night, hearing her heart-wrenching sobs beneath my building, I realized she still held a very important place in my heart. That night, my heart almost broke. If I ever could break free from my feelings for Xu Shu, why couldn’t I love this woman right before me?

The more tears I wiped from her face, the more flowed. She wrapped her arms around me again, crying endlessly. I knew she was crying tears of joy, so I held her tightly and let her vent.

Finally, exhausted from crying, Hua Jingjing sat up again, her shoulders trembling. Her face was soaked with tears, yet she wore an unstoppable smile. She wiped her eyes, teasing, “Tang Qian, I don’t know how many times I’ve dreamed of this scene, but the happiness in my dreams can’t compare to the thrill of reality. I don’t care; I want you to say this to me every day, or else I won’t sleep—I’ll stay up all night!”

I laughed and said, “I haven’t forgotten her yet! Who knows how long that will take? Why are you so happy?”

Pouting again, she said, “Are you trying to discourage me? No matter who she is, I have confidence I’ll make you forget her soon. Don’t you know my nickname? I’ll charm you until you can’t tell east from west. Just wait and see!”

She said this, then her red lips pressed against mine, and a soft, fragrant tongue immediately began to tease me...

At that moment, I couldn’t avoid or escape her. Only one word floated through my mind: enchantress! And perhaps, deep down, I wasn’t even trying to resist...

I stood by the window, feeling conflicted. Just a while ago, I’d resolved to live a lonely life, focusing only on my career. Yet I was defeated—no, moved—by Hua Jingjing.

I inhaled deeply on a cigarette, then slowly exhaled. Behind me on the bed, Hua Jingjing was sound asleep, clutching the blanket. Of course, I hadn’t touched her. We had agreed on three rules: until I forgot that other woman, I wouldn’t touch her. It wasn’t that I had some physical problem, but I simply couldn’t make love to her while my heart harbored someone else. Hua Jingjing loved me so much—I couldn’t betray her like that.

So I had to forget that woman.

But I smiled bitterly, knowing the longing inside me was endless. When would I ever forget her?

Longing was a torment, like a venomous snake biting my heart. My face twisted in pain. If she loved me even a fraction as much as Hua Jingjing did, how could I be so distressed?

It was already three in the morning. Hua Jingjing, overtaken by sleep, had dozed off, wearing nothing but her underwear. If I lifted the blanket, I could have her youthful, fiery body instantly. Though my eyes watered with desire, I restrained myself.

Until I forgot Xu Shu, I would not touch her.

Because a woman as devoted and passionate as Hua Jingjing deserved to be cherished. And to cherish her, I must love her from my heart. Only love could nurture her, only love could make her mine.

Though I knew it would be difficult—the impression Xu Shu left on my heart was too deep—I was resolved to forget her and love Hua Jingjing.

Of course, Qiu Jieqin was a headache. I never doubted her love for me, and I believed it was no less than Hua Jingjing’s. But surprisingly, after less than a month, Hua Jingjing had become far more important to me than Qiu Jieqin, who I’d known for ten years.

Why? Was I fickle? Did I have some obsession with virgins?

It seemed not. I took a deep drag from my cigarette, pondering the question.

I recalled the days with Qiu Jieqin. It seemed I had never truly been happy with her. Even when I was moved to date her, my motives were impure. At that time, I was forcing myself to forget Xu Shu; my heart had never been at ease. I felt deeply guilty—I was an irresponsible man to Qiu Jieqin. I had no face, no right to continue with her. Somewhere in my heart, I knew I would never love her.

Hua Jingjing was different. Being with her carried no psychological burden. Remembering past playful moments made me laugh aloud. I recalled how I used to tease her at work, like the time she had diarrhea—it was funny just to think about. Such lighthearted memories made me genuinely happy and relaxed around her.

More importantly, her devotion to love was irresistible. After I rejected Qiu Jieqin, she fell into despair for a long time. What disappointed me was her retaliation through promiscuity and despair. If from the start she had been like Hua Jingjing—unyielding, brave in pursuit—I wouldn’t say I would have accepted her, but I wouldn’t have had such a shadow over my heart.

Perhaps this was fate.

The cigarette burned down to the end. I exhaled, stubbed it out, and turned around. Seeing Hua Jingjing’s sweet, baby-like sleeping face on the bed, my heart softened. Since whichever choice I made would hurt a woman who loved me, I might as well choose the one who made me feel at ease. Qiu Jieqin, I was sorry—being with her would only harm us both.

I gazed at the delicate beauty on my bed and smiled softly. I thought, Jingjing, show me your enchantress powers and help me escape this torment soon. I’m ready to be mesmerized...

At some point, I fell asleep, only to be woken by an unbearable itch in my nose. I sneezed and sat upright.

Beside me, the beauty held a lock of her own hair, covering her mouth to stifle a giggle. Unnoticed, the blanket had slipped off me. Hua Jingjing was wearing only her underwear, her exquisite figure fully exposed to my eyes.

My blood rushed, my face flushed. Hastily, I covered her with the blanket and said, “Why do you sleep wearing so little? Isn’t that just tempting fate? Go put on some clothes!”

Hua Jingjing huffed, thrusting out her chest and leaning close. “Tempt fate? I’m willing. But are you?”

I... I couldn’t handle her. My eyes dared not glance at her raised curves; I turned away, awkwardly trying to get off the bed. She grabbed my arm angrily. “What? Am I scary? Will you die just by looking? Don’t leave—turn around and look at me!”

Cold sweat poured down my back. “Miss, it’s not that I’m afraid to look. It’s just you’re wearing too little. I’m no saint; I’m afraid I won’t control myself!”

She smiled slyly. “I want to see if you can control yourself. I don’t believe a young beauty like me can’t tempt you.”

She slid out from under the blanket and suddenly wrapped her arms around me from behind. I immediately felt the firm swell of her breasts pressed against my back.

My head went hot; my whole body tingled; my thoughts grew chaotic. Hua Jingjing toyed with my mind, eyes dreamy, shyly smiling, whispering, “Tang Qian... just devour me...”

She kissed me, her tongue entwining with mine.

An enchantress, truly an enchantress!

My breath quickened, my blood boiled—not just blood, but beastly fire!

What rules? What loyalty? I threw them all aside. My soul was bewitched—one moment here, the next ascending heavenward. Who cared for such trivial things?

Flushed, I spun around and pinned Hua Jingjing beneath me, kissing her fiercely, while one hand slid along her smooth waist to her ample bosom.

She hadn’t expected me, the saint, to lose control. Caught off guard, her defenses fell. My hand slipped inside her bra and gripped firmly.

She gasped and struggled, scrambling off me, barefoot, and darted to the bathroom door. There, she paused, cheeks blazing, nervously adjusting the bra I had disturbed. She turned, glared fiercely, and scolded, “Hmph! Saint? You’re a wolf—a lecherous wolf!” Then she slammed the door shut.

I buried my head in the pillow and sighed, “Heaven, save me!”