Chapter Thirty-Three: Choosing to Forget

From the shy, blushing expression on Qiu Jieqin’s face, I could easily discern her true intention behind inviting me to her place. Had it been earlier, I might have been thrilled, but now, all I wanted was a secluded spot where I could smoke a cigarette and sort through my tangled thoughts.

Smiling faintly, I reached out to gently cup her cheek and said, “Maybe next time. I’ve got something to take care of in a bit. Let me take you home first.”

Though a flicker of disappointment crossed her eyes at not getting her way, Qiu Jieqin was still basking in happiness. She tilted her face into my palm, lips curving, and asked, “It’s so late already—what business could you possibly have?”

I opened the cab’s back door. “Come on, get in.” Pouting, she ducked into the car. I settled in beside her and gave the driver her address.

As the car started, Qiu Jieqin nestled into my arms, clasping my waist with both hands. I had no choice but to hold her too, my hand absentmindedly stroking her wavy curls. She seemed content and didn’t press the earlier question.

Glancing up, she noticed my bare neck and abruptly sat up. “Where’s the scarf I gave you? Why aren’t you wearing it?”

I instinctively touched my neck, only then remembering that the exquisite beauty had taken it. I doubted I’d ever get it back—it probably lay forgotten somewhere, cast aside without a second thought.

I smiled bitterly to myself, but I couldn’t tell Qiu Jieqin the truth. How could I explain that the scarf she’d given me had been borrowed by the famous star Xu Shu? Who would ever believe such a preposterous story? Even though it was true, it sounded utterly absurd.

So I lied, “I just took a shower, and all my clothes—including the scarf—are being washed. Didn’t you notice I changed outfits?”

Qiu Jieqin’s eyes widened. “But that scarf is pure wool! It’s dry-clean only—don’t ruin it!”

I tried to reassure her. “Don’t worry, I haven’t washed it yet. I’ll take it to the cleaners tomorrow.” Secretly, I thought to myself, Looks like I’ll have to buy an identical scarf.

Relieved, Qiu Jieqin melted back into my embrace. Before long, the cab arrived at her building. She gazed at me, hope shining in her eyes. “Are you sure you don’t want to come up for a bit? I have really good coffee at home…”

I smiled and shook my head. I knew that if I went up, with her persistence, I’d never make it out again—she’d devour me whole.

Gently stroking her cheek, I said, “I really do have things to do. Next time, I promise. We’ve got all the time in the world.” Unable to persuade me, she made a face, grumbling, “Fine, don’t come. It’s not like I’m begging you anyway!” With that, she pushed open the door and stepped out, only to immediately return, calling out with exaggerated sweetness, “You have to give me a kiss, or I won’t let you leave.”

Embarrassed, I glanced at the driver, who tactfully kept his gaze fixed ahead, pretending he hadn’t heard a thing. I cupped Qiu Jieqin’s chin and brushed a kiss at the corner of her lips. She giggled, then leaned in to kiss me full on the mouth, quickly drew back, slammed the door, and waved farewell from the street.

The driver finally asked, “Where to next?”

I hesitated—where should I go?

All I’d wanted was a quiet place, but I hadn’t actually decided where. Meeting the driver’s questioning gaze, I decided, “Take me to the stadium.”

The cab sped away, leaving Qiu Jieqin still waving in the distance. Ten minutes later, I was at the stadium again. I paid the fare and walked over alone.

I remembered the crowds at the entrance that day, but tonight the stadium’s front was deserted. I wandered to the spot where I’d first seen her—it too was empty, under the same dim lights. Alone, I sat on the fire escape and lit a cigarette, the events of that night replaying vividly in my mind.

Every word we’d exchanged was clear in my memory, as was her breathtaking face in the faint glow.

One cigarette followed another. I knew how ridiculous I must look. I was no longer a brooding seventeen-year-old; I’d be turning thirty soon, yet here I was, overcome by an infatuation as profound as if it were love at first sight—something I could scarcely believe myself.

But she was truly extraordinary. I doubted anyone could remain indifferent to her; surely, I wasn’t alone in feeling this way.

So I was still normal, I reassured myself. Anyone with a heart would fall for her. It was simply human nature to be drawn to beauty, regardless of age, gender, or character.

Yet here I was, utterly lost in longing. It was unrealistic—I knew that. I could admire her, even idolize her, but I couldn’t let this obsession disrupt my life. For instance, if I hadn’t been thinking of her just now, I might still be at Qiu Jieqin’s place, happily indulging in the pleasures of love—instead of sitting here, smoking alone.

You need to be rational, I told myself. I forced myself to forget her, to forget that night. I stood, retracing the path I’d walked while carrying her that evening.

Just one last time, I thought, one last remembrance—then I would let her go.

Smoking as I walked, the snow from that night had long since melted. The streetlights on Wuyi Road stretched my shadow out behind me as I followed the route of that unforgettable night, walking alone, the wind whispering through the air as if she were softly singing those beautiful songs into my ear…

It was late—very late—when I finally returned home. I stubbed out my last cigarette and swore to myself that I’d have a good night’s sleep, and in the morning, I’d stop thinking about her for good. Then, at the right moment, I’d tell Qiu Jieqin, Let’s date.

The next day, I’d meant to go to work, but then remembered that Hua Jingjing was being discharged from the hospital. She’d bought so many things, and moving everything out would be tiring, especially with settling the hospital bills and all. I worried she wouldn’t manage alone, so I decided to help.

I arrived at Guangfu Hospital and pushed open the door to Hua Jingjing’s room. She had already changed out of her hospital gown and was wearing the expensive outfit I’d bought for her—nearly four thousand yuan, though to me it looked no different from something you’d find at a street stall for a fraction of the price.

She was leaning against the window, gazing out at the bright sunshine. When she heard me come in, she glanced over. “Didn’t I tell you not to come? Just go to work. What are you doing here?”

“I was worried you’d have trouble packing up. A pampered young lady like you is hardly used to doing such mundane things.”

She snorted. “Why would I bother packing? I’m leaving everything here. I don’t want any of it.” I was stunned, staring at the roomful of goods—some still unused. “You… you’re just going to leave it all? Really? Most of this is brand new!”

She replied with disdain, “What are these things worth? Why take them? If you think it’s a shame, take them all. I don’t want them.”

I couldn’t help but mutter, “The rich are so wasteful… a perfect little spendthrift! I’m sure your father would never behave like this, or he’d never have become a billionaire.”

Hua Jingjing was utterly unconcerned by my grumbling. She picked up her bag, opened it, and took out a wad of cash. “Since you’re here, take this and pay my hospital bill.”

Taking the money, I cast another pained glance at the roomful of belongings, shook my head, and went to settle the account. As soon as I closed the door, Hua Jingjing’s face broke into a broad grin. She flopped onto the bed and kicked her legs in the air, then rolled over, hugging the white pillow, lost in a happy daydream: Tang Qian may tease me all the time, but deep down, he really cares. I told him yesterday not to bother coming, but I immediately regretted it this morning. I can’t believe he actually showed up! Hmph! For coming today, I’ll forgive you for making me angry yesterday!

She hugged the pillow, drowning in happiness.

When I returned with the change, Hua Jingjing refused to take it. “I haven’t had a decent meal in days. You keep bringing me those bland boxed lunches—how could I get used to that? Once I’m discharged, let’s go to a nice restaurant for a good meal. Keep the money to pay the bill later.”

I pocketed the cash, grumbling, “I’m just your work secretary—when did I become your personal assistant?” She laughed, “If you want to be my personal assistant, I can give you double pay. Think about it?”

With some persuasion, Hua Jingjing finally agreed to take a few unused items with her. I chose the most valuable and practical ones and loaded them into the Ferrari. Hua Jingjing just shook her head in disdain. Buckling her seatbelt, she said, “I haven’t driven in days—hold on, I’m about to race!”

The Ferrari reversed out of the lot, and with a roar it shot off like a flash of lightning…