Chapter Seven: Now I No Longer Feel That Way

In the pouring rain, I dashed into the school, and from afar I could see two people crouched beneath the old locust tree. As I ran up to them, I saw Sun Li holding a small umbrella, huddled together with Qiu Jieqin, both shivering under its scant protection.

Even with the umbrella, they were soaked through, their thin outerwear offering little defense against the downpour. Their lips were tinged purple from the cold; if they stayed out any longer, they would surely fall gravely ill. In that moment, I was overwhelmed with self-loathing. My pride and indifference had caused them—no, the three of them—so much hardship, especially Qiu Jieqin, who, by my calculations, had already been waiting under this tree for me for eight hours!

When Sun Li caught sight of me, she leapt to her feet, eyes blazing with anger, and shouted, “What are you doing here? If you had the guts, you wouldn’t show up at all—let Qiu Jieqin die here! Isn’t that what you want, you cold-blooded creature?”

Shame consumed me. Any resentment I had once felt toward them vanished without a trace. I stepped forward to steady Qiu Jieqin, who was wavering on her feet, and urged, “Let’s get out of here. If you stay in this rain any longer, you’ll get sick.”

Qiu Jieqin managed a weak smile and stammered, “You finally came… I… I’m so happy…” Her teeth chattered so violently she could barely form words, and the sound made my heart ache. I quickly shrugged off my own drenched coat and draped it over her shoulders. “Let’s talk later. For now, you need a hot shower and some ginger tea to chase away the chill.”

Qiu Jieqin suddenly gripped my hand tightly, her voice trembling with urgency. “No… I can’t go home like this… I don’t want my parents to see me this way…”

Her hand was icy cold, and I feared the chill had seeped deep into her bones. I cast a pleading look at Sun Li. With a sigh, Sun Li said, “Come to my place first.”

I supported Qiu Jieqin, Sun Li held the umbrella, and together we left the school, just as Qian Xiaolei came rushing over. The four of us, all soaked to the skin, hurried to Sun Li’s home.

Her house was close to the school, just across the street and down an alley. Only her mother was at home, and she was startled when we burst in, sopping wet. Without stopping to ask questions, she immediately ran a bath, ushered the three girls in to wash up together, tossed me a dry towel, and told me to dry off while she hurried to make ginger tea.

I considered leaving, but then thought better of it. These three girls had ended up soaked and freezing because of me, especially Qiu Jieqin, who was nearly in shock. She was bound to come down with more than just a cold—pneumonia wasn’t out of the question. I couldn’t bear the thought of such guilt.

I resolved not to leave until I was sure Qiu Jieqin was all right.

Sure enough, I soon heard a loud sneeze from the bathroom. Looking down, I saw my clothes were so soaked they were still dripping onto the floor. Hastily, I dried my hair, arms, and neck with the towel. Since I was in someone else’s home—and in a house full of women—I didn’t dare take off my clothes, so I just wrung out my pant legs as best I could.

After a long while, Sun Li, Qian Xiaolei, and Qiu Jieqin finally emerged from the bathroom. Qian Xiaolei and Qiu Jieqin were both wearing Sun Li’s clothes. Sun Li, being tall for a girl, had clothes that fit Qiu Jieqin a bit loosely, while petite Qian Xiaolei looked almost comical, like a child playing dress-up in her parents’ clothes. As soon as they came out, Sun Li’s mother brought out steaming ginger tea, urging the three of them to drink it while it was hot.

But she didn’t pour me a cup, even though I was just as drenched!

The three girls sipped their tea, blowing on it to cool it, while Sun Li’s mother pulled her daughter aside to whisper, no doubt asking what had happened.

Noticing me standing awkwardly in a corner, still in my wet clothes, Qiu Jieqin tugged at Sun Li and whispered something in her ear. Sun Li shook her head at first, but after a few more words from Qiu Jieqin, she sighed in resignation and went into another room.

Meanwhile, Qian Xiaolei had just taken a few sips of tea when she let out a gigantic sneeze, spilling most of her cup.

Soon after, Sun Li returned from the room, holding a set of men’s clothes. She walked straight up to me, tossed the clothes into my arms, and said sharply, “Go change in the bathroom! Hmph, if Qiu Jieqin hadn’t begged me, I wouldn’t have given you my father’s clothes. Cold-blooded animal!”

I could only give a wry smile. I deserved her scolding today—I had no excuse to answer back. I took Sun Li’s father’s clothes and changed in the bathroom. The feeling of being dry again was wonderful; my spirits lifted considerably.

When I came out, I saw Sun Li and her mother sitting on the sofa, while Qian Xiaolei was on the phone, calling her family. But Qiu Jieqin was nowhere to be seen.

Sun Li saw that I had changed and pointed me toward the inner room. “Qiu Jieqin is in my room. She wants to talk to you. You’d better go in. But let me warn you: if you make her suffer again, I won’t let you off easily!”

What did she mean by that? Wasn’t this whole mess their doing? I never wanted her to suffer. But the strangest thing was, if Qiu Jieqin had just been toying with me, why act so desperate? She could have just stopped playing the game—so why…?

As I headed to the room, I heard Sun Li mutter behind me, “I really don’t see what Jieqin sees in him—a man so heartless and unfeeling! If it were me, I’d have kicked him to the curb long ago. Hmph!”

Her words stung, and I almost turned back to lash out: for the sake of a bet, you deceived someone’s feelings—is that any more compassionate or righteous? But there was no point telling Sun Li; she hadn’t personally deceived me. I needed to talk to Qiu Jieqin. Now that things had come to this, it was time for the truth.

I pushed open the door. Qiu Jieqin was sitting at the edge of the bed, her face still pale, her hair damp and tangled as she rubbed it dry with a towel.

Fresh from her bath, she looked even more alluring than usual. When she saw me enter, a faint blush immediately colored her wan cheeks, and she turned her head away, embarrassed.

I sat beside her and asked softly, “How are you feeling now? Are you still cold?”

She murmured, “I’m all right. After the bath and the ginger tea, I feel much warmer. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”

“That’s good,” I replied.

An awkward silence settled between us. Neither of us knew what to say, and for a long time, we sat in silence.

Wanting to break the impasse, I gathered my thoughts and said, “Qiu Jieqin, I…”

At that very moment, Qiu Jieqin turned to me and said, “Tang Qian, I…”

We both stopped, realizing the other wanted to speak, and looked at each other.

Our eyes met for less than three seconds before we both blurted out, “You go first!”

This coincidence made us both laugh, melting much of the tension.

Qiu Jieqin gave me a gentle punch and said, “You really are heartless. I’ve never suffered so much in my life, and you managed to make it happen. Tell me, if Qian Xiaolei hadn’t come to get you, would you really have left me waiting?”

I sighed and answered honestly, “Yes.”

Her face went white again, her voice trembling. “Why? Do you really dislike me that much?”

I thought, since I was going to be honest today, I might as well say what was on my mind. “Not anymore,” I said. The meaning was clear enough—before, I really did dislike you.

She stared at me, wide-eyed, and tears quickly welled up, threatening to spill. She turned away, wiping her eyes as she spoke in a choked voice, “Even if you hated me, you should have told me. You suddenly started ignoring me—do you know how much that hurt? Do you have any idea how hard these last few days have been for me?”

I lowered my head and sighed. “I’m sorry. It was my fault. There was something I couldn’t accept, so I overreacted. I never meant for you to suffer like this. I’m sorry.”

Qiu Jieqin shuddered, then turned to me, nervous. “Did I do something wrong? That question has been haunting me every minute of every day. I’ve racked my brains but can’t figure it out. It can’t be something as trivial as taking the book you were reading, can it?”

“Of course not,” I said. “It was much more serious than that—I was nearly driven mad by it!”

She looked at me, stunned, indignant. “How could that be? Did someone say something bad about me?”

I shook my head. “It wasn’t anyone else. It was something you said yourself.”