Volume One, Chapter 12: How Could I Ever Be Worthy of the Fourth Prince?

Han Shu, ignoring Qin Huai’s objections, insisted on going.

Qin Huai watched Han Shu’s retreating figure and sighed deeply, “A kind mother often spoils her children.”

After leaving Shumei Courtyard, she hadn’t walked far when she saw Su Yan’er approaching.

“Aunt, Yan’er was just about to pay her respects to you. I didn’t expect to meet you here!”

Su Yan’er bowed respectfully, then noticing Han Shu’s hurried demeanor, asked, “Aunt, where are you headed in such a rush?”

Han Shu helped Su Yan’er up from her bow and sighed inwardly. If Wan’er were even half as sensible as Yan’er, she wouldn’t be so troubled.

“I’m going to the Graceful Courtyard to see Wan’er. I haven’t seen her these past few days and don’t know how her injury is healing.” As she spoke, Han Shu began moving forward.

Su Yan’er walked alongside her and added, “Aunt, you’re going to see Fourth Sister? I haven’t seen her in a long time either. I’ll accompany you!”

Han Shu felt comforted. Looking at the gentle Su Yan’er, she thought, “How wonderful it would be if she were truly my daughter.”

“Very well! Let’s go.”

The two walked side by side, chatting all along the way.

Wanxia followed behind, thinking that Miss Yan’er and Madam really got along well—perhaps even better than Miss and Madam themselves.

But since Yan’er was a girl, she would eventually marry and leave. How wonderful it would be if she could stay in this Marquis’ residence forever.

Wanxia had been away only a few days, yet her heart was already completely captured by Su Yan’er.

When they arrived at the Graceful Courtyard, it was the first clear day after the heavy snow. The weather was splendid, and Qin Wan was not idle, walking about the courtyard.

The days of rest had improved her body greatly. She no longer limped as before; if she walked slowly, she looked no different from a normal person.

“Madam, Miss Yan’er!”

Wan Shuang was the first to spot the newcomers and bowed loudly to alert Qin Wan, who hadn’t noticed them yet.

Hearing the voice, Qin Wan turned and saw Han Shu and Su Yan’er walking arm in arm, appearing very close.

“Mother, Sister Yan’er!” Qin Wan’s voice was cold, devoid of any emotion.

Han Shu released Su Yan’er’s hand and stepped forward, expecting Qin Wan to embrace her as before, but Qin Wan made no move, which left her heart chilled.

Seeing her daughter’s thin cheeks, Han Shu could no longer hold back tears.

“Wan’er, why haven’t you come to pay respects to your mother these days?”

Qin Wan saw Han Shu’s tears and felt a faint stir inside, yet she had once cried like this and been ignored.

She used to visit Shumei Courtyard every day, pestering her mother to go out shopping, but Han Shu always found excuses to refuse.

Even on the street, when she tried to hold her mother’s arm, Han Shu would say, “So many people are watching, this is improper conduct; how can you behave like this!”

Yet now, she and Su Yan’er came arm in arm—how was that proper?

Perhaps whether something was improper depended on the person.

Qin Wan’s chest tightened; she took a deep breath and replied, “Mother, didn’t you once say that the visits could be exempted?”

Han Shu was momentarily stunned—she had indeed said that.

Back then, Qin Wan visited Shumei Courtyard daily, chattering endlessly, causing her headache. She wanted peace, so the words slipped out casually.

But she remembered that even after saying that, Qin Wan still came every day. So why was she so obedient now?

“Wan’er, is your body feeling better? Does the pain still linger?”

Han Shu wiped her tears, looking at the injured spot with deep concern.

Before Qin Wan could answer, Su Yan’er, seeing Han Shu’s tears, hurried forward to support her.

“Fourth Sister, since your injury, Aunt has been weeping daily, deeply worried about your condition. Even if you don’t come to pay respects, Aunt insists on visiting you herself!”

Qin Wan snorted softly. Wan Shuang had told her that Su Yan’er had been regularly visiting Shumei Courtyard lately—clearly trying to curry favor with mother to marry Second Brother sooner.

In her previous life, when she was at Leishan Temple, Wan Shuang once mentioned Su Yan’er’s engagement to Second Brother. It seemed Su Yan’er had long had her eyes on him.

But none of that concerned Qin Wan now. She neither cared nor wished to interfere with the affairs of the Marquis’ household.

After all, in her previous life, not even the matter of her own marriage was ever communicated to her. If not for Wan Shuang telling her, she might never have known until death. Perhaps they never intended to inform her at all.

“My injury is fine now, mother. You needn’t worry—it’s all my own fault.”

“Wan’er, I know you still blame us, but—”

“Mother, that is in the past. There’s no need to bring it up again. It’s my fault. I never blamed anyone. Now I have awakened—when one errs, one must admit it!”

Han Shu paused, feeling gratified. It seemed the Marquis’s method had taken effect; Wan’er now knew how to admit fault.

Yet the way Wan’er admitted it was not as she had imagined. She felt their bond had grown distant.

Perhaps Wan’er had simply grown up.

Han Shu smiled and withdrew her arm from Su Yan’er’s grasp, stepping forward to hold Qin Wan’s hand.

“Wan’er has grown up. You’re right—since it’s in the past, let it be past.”

She spoke as she led Qin Wan into the room.

Su Yan’er stood frozen in place, staring at her empty hand and instinctively clenching it. No matter how well she behaved, she was still not a blood daughter of the Marquis’ household.

It seemed she must quicken her pace to secure her place here.

Inside the room, although Qin Wan’s injury had mostly healed, she still couldn’t sit on a hard seat. Wan Shuang placed several soft cushions beneath her, allowing her to sit comfortably.

Han Shu hadn’t realized how severe the injury was. Even after more than ten days, Wan’er still couldn’t sit on a hard chair. She felt she had been neglectful as a mother.

“Wan’er, there is something else I came to speak about today.

I know you and Fourth Prince were not childhood sweethearts, but you two have feelings for each other. You have long wished to be betrothed to Fourth Prince, but this engagement…”

Han Shu kept watching Qin Wan’s expression, knowing her daughter would be hurt.

What she did not know was that in her previous life, Qin Wan might have been saddened by this, but now she no longer mourned for that man.

Fourth Prince Xiao Jingyu’s name had once been engraved in her heart. She thought that if she held him in her heart, he must feel the same for her.

But when she fell into misfortune and was sent to Leishan Temple, she saw with her own eyes that soon after, he came hand in hand with a girl from the Shen family to pray for blessings.

Their loving appearance was something they had never shared!

Not long after, news of their engagement spread. Only then did she realize how laughable her love had been.

She was of marriageable age and could have been betrothed, but every time she mentioned it, he found excuses to delay.

Until she was sent to Leishan Temple, until he was engaged to another, until he married, and she met her tragic end.

Thinking of this, Qin Wan’s heart plummeted. She no longer wished to hear that name and cut Han Shu off.

“Mother, Fourth Prince is revered by all. How could he have feelings for me? Please do not speak such nonsense again.

At the birthday banquet, the Empress herself ordered my public flogging. Although I was not formally convicted, to the outside world, I am already a criminal. With my status, how could I possibly be worthy of Fourth Prince?”

As soon as she finished speaking, footsteps outside suddenly stopped.