Chapter Two: Despair

After Hongxing lost her parents and was on the verge of starvation, nearly dying, she was found and brought back by Lu Yalan, who rarely left her home. To keep Hongxing, Lu Yalan defied her elders for the first and only time in her life. At that time, the old matriarch neither agreed nor refused; she merely told Lu Yalan to kneel and pick Buddhist beans for three days in a row before she would respond. If Yalan could not endure it, the matter was to be dropped.

Servants always took their cues from their masters. Thus, a six or seven-year-old child was left kneeling in the cold, unheated ancestral hall during the heart of winter, picking at the beans, with no one telling her she did not have to remain on her knees, and no one carefully tending the fire or fetching hot water. When the old lady finally sent someone to check, they found the second young lady already delirious from the ordeal.

The old matriarch severely punished a number of servants for this, making sure no one dared neglect the second miss again, and Hongxing was allowed to remain by Lu Yalan’s side as she wished. From then on, the two girls relied on each other to survive in the vast Lu household.

As the second young miss, Lu Yalan never lacked for food or clothing, but that was the extent of it. With no parents to protect her, she often had to swallow her grievances in silence, growing up stumbling and supporting each other with Hongxing.

Lu Yalan was prone to tears, and each time she cried, the nanny would punish her. Eventually, Hongxing made a pact with her: whenever Yalan felt wronged, Hongxing would do the crying for her. After that promise, whenever Lu Yalan was about to break down, tears threatening to fall, Hongxing would start crying first. By the time she finished soothing Hongxing, Yalan herself would have calmed down.

Punishments for a servant’s tears were far more severe than for a mistress, and after Hongxing was punished twice this way, Lu Yalan never cried again.

Just then, as Lu Yalan was busy comforting Hongxing, there was a knock at the door.

Yalan told Hongxing to hide, and when she opened the door, she saw it was Spring Date, a maid from the old matriarch's side.

Spring Date lowered her gaze, not questioning why the young miss was opening the door herself, and simply said, “Second Miss, the old lady requests your presence.”

Elsewhere, in the Hall of Benevolence.

Master Lu had just seen off the men from the Zhao family, and as he returned to the hall and sat heavily in a chair, he finally spoke, “Mother, why did you stop me just now? The Zhao family has gone too far! To break off an engagement just like that—what will people think of us? Anyone would think there’s something wrong with our girl. How will we ever find her a good match?”

As he grew more agitated, the old matriarch’s eyes flicked over him, and Master Lu immediately straightened up, his body stiffening.

After a pause, he grew indignant again. “I'm not wrong, Mother. Because of this engagement, the second girl’s already getting old for marriage, and the younger girls are waiting for her to marry first. If she doesn't marry, how can the others? The Zhao family is making fools of us and ruining our family!”

The old matriarch listened to her son’s complaints in silence, sipping her tea. The cup clinked sharply against the table, and Master Lu fell silent.

“You’re a man. Why are you so concerned with the affairs of the inner quarters? You should go help Yabo instead, and let your son catch a break.”

Master Lu naturally ignored the latter part of her remark. “Of course I care, Mother. Apart from you, our family has no proper mistress. Are you going to let Mrs. Ma manage things? She’s not up to it. I’m only trying to ease your burdens.”

He stuck out his neck stubbornly, clearly dissatisfied with the second concubine’s assistance in managing the household.

The old matriarch had no interest in arguing about the affairs of his household. She said coolly, “And what solution do you propose? The Zhao family came in person to break the engagement, so they’re determined. We’re old family friends; we cannot sever ties over this. Besides, would shoving our girl into their family by force end well? Marriage is meant to unite two families in goodwill, not resentment. Let’s leave it at that.”

Master Lu smacked his lips. “Mother, you don’t seem yourself. You’re just going to let them off so easily?”

The old matriarch’s chest tightened, breath catching painfully as she listened to her son. Qin Nanny, standing by her side, hurried over to check on her.

What kind of talk was that from a son to his own mother?

“Mother!” Master Lu jumped up, dashing to her side, wanting to help but afraid he’d get in the way, so he ended up circling her anxiously.

With much patting and massaging, the old matriarch finally caught her breath, sipped some tea with Qin Nanny’s help, and recovered.

When she looked up, she saw her eldest son squatting before her like a bear, his eyes red with worry. She thought of her other son and sighed inwardly. Her eldest was filial and loyal; that was enough.

In the end, she let his foolish words go.

The old matriarch was born into the scholarly Lin family. Her grandfather and father had both served as officials in the late Qing dynasty. The elders of her family had the foresight to accept the marriage proposal of Master Lu’s family, who were merchants, instead of an official’s son. Indeed, only a few years after her marriage, the emperor was deposed and the families of officials fell into disgrace, while the Lin family survived thanks to the Lu family’s support.

When she had her eldest son, the Lu household was full of color and life, with Master Lu Senior repeatedly bringing new women into the house. The old matriarch, proud and unwilling to lose, fought with the concubines and left the care of her first son to his wet nurse. Only after she had driven all her rivals from the house, following her husband's death, did she realize her son had grown into a spoiled idler, his character set.

The old matriarch pulled her son to his feet, stooped to brush the dust from his coat, and, catching his startled look, could not help but slap his back affectionately.

Master Lu relaxed at last. Yes, this was his real mother.

The old matriarch... sometimes she wished she could stuff this lump back into her womb.

But he was her own son. She broke it down for him, “Girls suffer most from broken engagements. If we make a scene, we’ll only bear the brunt of the damage. Before word spreads, we must find the second girl a match outside the city or with a family less particular. That’s what matters most now.”

Master Lu nodded repeatedly, saying his mother was right, though he still could not understand why she was letting the Zhao family go so easily this time.

When Master Lu Senior died, the children were still young, and the old matriarch governed everything inside and outside the household. Many tried to take advantage of the widow, but she fended them all off. In the past, she would have made the other party pay dearly for such an insult.

She knew what her son was thinking without looking at him. She glanced at Qin Nanny.

Qin Nanny understood and withdrew with the servants.

Master Lu sensed there was something serious to discuss and unconsciously sat up straight.

“You think I don’t want to make more demands? Do you know why the Zhao family wants to break the engagement?”

The Zhao family claimed their son was focused on his career and did not wish to marry yet, not wanting to delay the second girl. But everyone knew that was a lie. If they were afraid of delaying her, why had they waited so long?

Master Lu rubbed his chin, thinking. For them to risk being cast out of the family just to break the engagement, he could think of only one reason: the boy fancied someone else.

“Could it be that the person Zhao’s son likes is related to our family?”

The old matriarch picked up her teacup only to set it down again, no longer in the mood for tea. “It’s the third girl.”

Master Lu’s expression changed dramatically.

A younger sister taking her elder sister’s fiancé—such things are ugly to speak of. If word spread, the Lu family’s name would be dragged through the mud. Who would ever dare marry a Lu family woman again?

“This…” Master Lu, a man of the world, had plenty to say, but this was his own niece. He changed tack: “How does Shibang raise his children? The third girl is his daughter, isn’t the second? This brings shame to the entire family.”

Lu Yalan and Lu Yazhu, the third girl, shared a father but not a mother. Yazhu was taken to Shanghai by her parents for a modern education, while Yalan’s mother died early, and Yalan was left in the old family home in Yancheng, receiving a traditional upbringing.

Each year, only at New Year’s for the ancestral rites did Lu Shibang bring his family back to visit the old matriarch. He cared less for his own eldest daughter than for his nieces and nephews.

Those who disliked the Lu family joked that the second miss was the very picture of “with a stepmother comes a stepfather,” and for a time, the Lu family was the talk of Yancheng’s tea houses.

Master Lu was dissatisfied with his younger brother’s treatment of his own daughter, but it was not his place to interfere, especially since his brother was more accomplished than himself, which left him feeling less confident.

“Old Madam, the second girl’s engagement is known throughout Yancheng. There’s no way the third girl and Zhao’s son can be together.”

“Hmph! Zhao Haichang is not senile yet. Their family will keep this secret at all costs.”

“Old Madam,” a maid announced from outside, “the second miss has arrived.”

“Let her in.”

“Grandmother, I bow to you and wish you health.”

The old matriarch told her to rise. Lu Yalan stood, turned to Master Lu, and curtsied, “Greetings, Uncle.”

After the formalities, Lu Yalan stood quietly in the center of the hall, eyes lowered and docile, for without an invitation she could not sit.

The old matriarch saw the girl’s silent, motionless figure, and her chest ached again. No wonder the servants called her wooden—always so lifeless, unwelcome wherever she went.

Master Lu, seeing his mother’s face darken, quickly interjected, “Second girl, have a seat, let’s talk sitting down.”

“Yes.” Lu Yalan curtsied again, seated herself opposite him, her back straight, occupying less than a third of the chair.

Master Lu felt a twinge in his teeth.

“You’re the legitimate second miss of the Lu family. Why act so timid?”

The old matriarch, seeing Yalan with her head bowed, not uttering a word of protest or grievance, lost the interest to continue scolding and turned to business. “You know about the broken engagement, don’t you?”

Yalan nodded.

“Normally, marriage matters wouldn’t be discussed with you, but with your father not here, you must decide for yourself.”

Yalan said nothing, listening in silence. She knew her grandmother had already decided and was simply informing her.

“At your age, it’s not easy to find a match. There are two options: marry outside the city, or marry someone who aspires to ally with our family. If you have no objection, I’ll start looking, and it’s best to settle before the end of the year.”

She said she could give her opinion, but who dared defy the old lady once she’d spoken?

Lu Yalan tried to hold back, but her freshly healed palm was soon broken open again as she dug her nails into it, and still she could not restrain herself. Her whole body shook.

Though she had prepared herself on the way, hearing it with her own ears plunged her into despair.

They said she was too old to marry and must hurry, but everyone present knew that was just an excuse.

As the party rejected, especially as a woman, no matter her innocence, it was always she who bore the world’s censure. Only if she married before rumors spread would her younger sisters’ prospects remain untouched.

Lu Yalan was not even twenty. She had just learned that the fiancé she had hoped for over a decade no longer wanted her, and before she could recover, her family had abandoned her too. Who could endure that?

Her vision swam with darkness; she wished only to smash her head and be done with it, to die and join her mother, whom she’d never met. Perhaps she would be happier in the next world.

A buzzing filled her ears, and whatever else the old lady said was lost to her. She did not know how much time passed, only that eventually the words, “You may go,” reached her, and she walked out, not even remembering if she had bowed.

Master Lu, being a man, did not notice anything amiss. After she left, he said to the old matriarch, “No matter what, my brother is an official, and the second girl is his legitimate daughter. Suitors will not be lacking. There’s no need to settle so quickly.”

“Three people make a tiger, rumors kill, and gossip can destroy a life. If she marries far away, her husband’s family won’t know; if she marries down, the family won’t dare object. For her, this is the best way.”

Master Lu, thinking of his brother’s indifference toward the second girl, obediently echoed his mother’s words, “You’re right, Mother.”