Chapter Ninety-Five: The Heart's Confusion

When Night Azure woke again, it was already the morning of another day.

The events of the night before had exhausted him completely, and he had slept for a full day and night before finally recovering. As he felt the familiar surge of power within him, a great weight lifted from his heart. He had truly feared that his ability had been lost forever. He did not fear being unable to protect himself; what terrified him was the thought of never again having the strength to shield the person most precious to him.

Looking down, he saw her still sleeping soundly in his arms, and his gaze softened. At the same time, his mind drifted back to what had happened that night.

After he had held her in his arms, he had not done anything else. He had only held her while letting the fever of desire torment him.

He had thought she would simply force a potion down his throat, for she had once said that this was how the man called Cyril had taught her to deal with such things. If anyone lusted after her, pour a potion into them, or simply cripple the source of their urge.

He did not know which fate would befall him, but he could not bring himself to let go, and could only wait anxiously for whatever punishment she would give him.

But none came.

When his passion had finally spent itself in her hands, he had clearly seen the clarity in her eyes, the innocence, the absence of the slightest trace of desire. And yet he had still felt an unprecedented satisfaction.

It was a kind of fulfillment he had never felt with anyone else.

As he was thinking, the girl in his arms shifted slightly. Night Azure gently patted her back, hoping she would keep sleeping, but the movement only woke her faster.

She rubbed her eyes, feeling the warmth of the body before her and the bare skin against her own. Still half asleep, she lifted her head and greeted him softly, “Good morning, Ah Ye.”

“Good morning, my dear.” Night Azure helped her sit up and wrapped the blanket around her body, which was only covered by a shirt. “Not sleeping anymore?”

“No more sleep.” She shook her head. Her mind was slowly clearing, and what had happened before quickly surfaced in her thoughts once again.

The bath she had given him, the way she had healed him, and especially the sight of him covered in wounds had been etched so clearly into her memory that merely thinking of it made her feel terribly uneasy.

Driven by that feeling, she woke more quickly than ever before, then glared at Night Azure and accused him, “Ah Ye, you were disobedient!”

Her reproach left him stunned. He did not understand why she was saying that.

“I told you to protect yourself. I told you not to get hurt again because of me. But look at what you did to yourself.”

She did not understand why she felt so upset. After thinking it over, she decided it must be anger at his stubborn disobedience.

“It wasn’t all because of you. He and I had a grudge to begin with. Even without you, he would never have let me go.” Night Azure explained softly. He did not want her to feel guilty because of this.

“You’re lying! Even if I hadn’t been there, if you’d been caught off guard, at least you could have escaped. Don’t you know how stupid you were? Since he wanted me as a hostage, he certainly wouldn’t kill me in a hurry. Why didn’t you leave first and then find a chance to come back and save me?” she said indignantly.

How had she never realized he could be so stubborn?

Of course Night Azure knew that what she said was the most rational course. But once he imagined the suffering she would have had to endure, how could he possibly remain rational? How could he let her be hurt because of him while he hid somewhere and watched helplessly?

He could not do it.

No matter how many times he went through it again, he still could not choose that so-called best solution.

Seeing that he remained silent, she could not help but press further. “If I hadn’t woken up, what were you going to do? Were you planning to keep fighting like that?”

She still remembered the way his eyes had lit up when she had appeared before him that night, and the very first thing he had asked was whether she was hurt. Then she had known he had been worrying about her ever since she had been taken away by that man. He had struggled free only to save her.

The more she thought about it, the more uncomfortable she felt.

Night Azure saw how upset she was and did not want her to keep angry. He lowered his voice. “It was my fault, my dear. Please don’t be angry, all right?”

Hearing him apologize only made the tightness in her chest worse, but she did not want to stay angry anymore, so she softened her tone. “Ah Ye, if something like this happens again, don’t be so foolish. When I saw how badly you were hurt that day, I really felt awful.”

Night Azure heard this and drew her into his arms, then said in a low voice, “I’m sorry, my dear. I can’t do it. I can’t stand by and watch you get hurt.”

He did not want to lie to her.

If he ever faced a similar situation again, he would still choose to trade himself for her safety.

“Besides, if I’m hurt, you still have a way to heal me. But if you’re hurt, I won’t have the slightest办法.” He did not want her to keep dwelling on this, so he tried to steer her toward something lighter. “And I can’t draw such complicated and strange formations.”

“Even if you could draw it, it would be useless. You’re not a light elemental user, and that formation can’t turn metal energy into light energy anyway. Besides, that formation doesn’t work very well. I originally wanted to use damage transfer, which is faster and doesn’t even require a formation. But my energy wasn’t enough, so I had no choice but to use that one,” she muttered into his chest, her tone full of disdain for the formation.

“Damage transfer? Transfer it to whom?” Night Azure did not miss the new term in her words.

“Of course to the person casting the spell. Who else could it go to?”

Damage transfer was a forbidden art. If it could be shifted to whoever one pleased, that would be far too heaven-defying.

She said it matter-of-factly, not noticing that his face had already darkened.

“From now on, you are not allowed to use that technique. Not on anyone. Do you understand?” Night Azure gripped her shoulders and looked into her eyes, speaking with an unusual severity.

She was startled by his sternness. “Damage transfer is forbidden magic. Of course I wouldn’t use it casually!”

As its name implied, damage transfer meant that all injuries on the target were shifted to the caster. If the caster could not withstand it, death could come instantly. After all, pain inflicted gradually and pain endured all at once were not the same.

Seeing that she still did not understand, Night Azure explained further. “My dear, I don’t want to see you hurt. Seeing you injured makes me suffer even more than if I were injured myself. So no matter when it is, never use that technique, all right?”

Seeing the intense emotion in his eyes, she did not understand exactly what that feeling was, but she still obediently nodded.

Fine, then she would not use it.

After all, there were not many people who would force her to resort to that technique. At worst, she could help them improve their strength more often, and they would just have to get hurt a little less.

Seeing her nod, Night Azure knew that if she agreed, she would keep her word, and only then did he relax.

Then something else occurred to him. “Have you ever used damage transfer before?”

She hesitated for a moment, then nodded.

“On whom?” he asked in a low voice.

The thought that she had once transferred someone else’s injuries onto herself made his heart ache. If she had thought of using that technique, then that person’s injuries must not have been light.

“For Cyril.” Her expression turned slightly odd at the mention, but she answered honestly.

That time, Cyril had suffered severe light-based damage. Cyril was a necromancer, and light magic was precisely the bane of necromancy; once seriously wounded, it was nearly fatal. At the time, she had thought that since she carried the attribute of light herself, those injuries would not be lethal to her, so she had used damage transfer.

Night Azure was no stranger to the name Cyril. Although she mentioned him only rarely, it was still clear that the man occupied an important place in her heart.

Yet from the fragments she had revealed, it seemed Cyril cared about her just as deeply. He could not help wondering how the other man had reacted upon learning that she had used such a spell.

“And after that? What did he say when he found out?”

Her expression darkened even further. After a long while, she said unwillingly in a small voice, “He didn’t say anything. He just waited until I healed, then pinned me across his lap and gave me a hard spanking.”

That time, she had been both hurt and aggrieved, and for a long while she had refused to speak to Cyril.

Later they had reconciled, but she still did not understand why Cyril had been angry.

It was only later, when she herself had once been gravely injured and Cyril had done the same to her, that she finally understood his feelings. That mixture of worry and anger, that complicated emotion, could only arise when the other person held a place in one’s heart greater than one’s own.

Was Night Azure feeling the same way toward her?

Did he value her more than he valued himself?

Lowering her head, she looked dazed.

Though her voice had been very quiet, Night Azure still heard her. He had not expected such an answer and was momentarily taken aback.

But he could not imitate that method, because he simply could not bear to lay a finger on her.

So he could only say, “He punished you because he cared about you and didn’t want to see you use that technique again. So from now on, never use it again. Don’t even think about it, understand?”

“Mm.” She nodded obediently.

Her nodding was a bit too vigorous, and she failed to notice the blanket slipping from her shoulders. The shirt, which had not been buttoned very tightly to begin with, naturally fell open, revealing dark bruised marks on her neck.

The moment Night Azure saw those marks, his eyes grew dim.

He reached out and gently stroked her neck, asking in distress, “Does it still hurt?”

She did not know that she had nearly been strangled to death before. Hearing his question, she was a little puzzled. She took out a small mirror and looked, only then noticing the marks on her neck.

“It doesn’t hurt much. If you hadn’t said anything, I wouldn’t even have noticed.” She shook her head, then thought for a moment and took out a potion, about to apply it to her neck.

“Let me help you.”

Night Azure took the bottle from her and carefully spread the medicine over her neck. Then he held her tightly in his arms, feeling her body tremble faintly from the pain. He could only feel his own heart trembling with it.

He would settle this debt, one way or another.