Chapter Three: Actual Combat, Survival Exercise

Chapter Three: Actual Combat, Survival Drill

The awkward silence that followed the announcement...

“Haha~ He fell for it! He really fell for it!” The wild laughter of a certain blond troublemaker.

“Sorry, teacher, I tried to stop him, but Naruto just wouldn’t listen,” murmured a certain cunning girl with split personalities, though inside she was thinking, ‘Well done.’

“Is he really a jounin? Is this guy really a jounin?” muttered the brooding boy whose first kiss had just been stolen by that same blond.

“Well, to sum up my first impression of you all… I find you rather unlikable,” Kakashi said, picking up the chalkboard eraser.

“All right, follow me. There’s another teacher besides me in your team, waiting for us outside. Let’s go meet him.”

“Two?” Sakura blurted out.

“A jounin?” asked Sasuke.

“A teacher?” Naruto echoed.

“What’s going on?” The three asked in unison.

“Oh, well, I’ll explain that later. For now, just come with me to the rendezvous point!” Kakashi took the lead and walked out the door.

——— Scene shifts to the rooftop terrace ———

Before them stood a white-clad shinobi, graceful and poised, with a faint smile and skin and features so flawless that most women would envy them. Bathed in sunlight, the figure appeared captivating to both men and women alike.

“You’re here, big brother!” A voice came from the direction of the white-clad ninja—energetic, cool, natural, and just a touch happy. How those nuances were discerned was anyone’s guess, but the four couldn’t help but stare.

“Ahem… I’m here. These three are our new team members. Let’s start with introductions!” No wonder Kakashi was an elite jounin; under the assault of Shuster’s illusionary presence (on par with A-rank genjutsu), he recovered almost instantly—probably just from being used to living together.

“Oh! You’re the big sister I met at Ichiraku Ramen! What was it, Lei… something?” Naruto suddenly exclaimed, pointing at Shuster.

Kakashi perched on the railing next to Shuster, watching the three gather on the steps below—Naruto, the teacher’s child… Sasuke, the last surviving Uchiha… Sakura… ignored!

“Introductions? What should I say?” An almost intuitive sense told the androgynous figure that the masked man had just thought something rude about them.

“Of course—what you like, what you dislike, your future dreams, interests, that sort of thing,” Kakashi replied matter-of-factly.

“Wait, Masked Teacher… why don’t you go first?” Naruto, squatting on the steps, raised his hand.

“Me? Well then, I’m Kakashi Hatake. As for what I like and my hobbies… I’d rather not tell you…” His mouth didn’t even move, making him seem more like a puppet.

“Huh?” Naruto and Sakura chorused.

“My future thoughts… and I have a wide variety of interests. That concludes my introduction.” Kakashi waved his hand, reverting to his cross-armed pose.

“So we know nothing about you but your name?” Sakura’s face was full of skepticism.

“Yeah, pretty much,” Naruto nodded.

“My name is Shuster Hatake, Kakashi’s younger brother. I like traveling to different worlds, my hobby is tackling new experiences, and as for the future, well, I’m a bit lost—immortality and all that tends to make one adrift. It reminds me of a queen I once knew! Also, the blond kid is right, my title is Thunderclap. Now, from left to right, you first—blondie!” Shuster said with a beaming smile.

“Younger brother?” Naruto asked.

“A man?” Sakura stammered.

“This guy?” Sasuke muttered.

“How can a man be this beautiful?” all three wondered at once.

“All right, I’ll go. My name is Naruto Uzumaki! I like instant noodles and ramen at Ichiraku, especially when Iruka-sensei treats me. I hate waiting the three minutes for instant noodles to cook! My hobby is eating all kinds of noodles! As for my dream…” At the mention of his dream, the mischief vanished from his face. He stood up straight, adjusting the slightly oversized forehead protector, and said with seriousness, “To surpass all the Hokage before me! And to be acknowledged by everyone in the village!”

“So that’s it. This kid’s growth will be interesting to watch,” Kakashi thought as he gave Naruto a second look. “Next.”

“What passion! No wonder he’s the main character!” Shuster mused inwardly.

“My name is Sakura Haruno! What I like… is really the person I like~~~ My hobby is… as for my dream…” She trailed off, blushing, lost in her fantasies. Honestly—Sasuke! As a man, shouldn’t you respond somehow?

“…And what do you dislike?” Kakashi prompted, his face beneath the mask surely speechless.

“It’s Naruto!” she declared. Direct and to the point—Naruto, defeated in an instant.

“Oh, girls at this age—love definitely comes before ninjutsu!” Kakashi was truly at a loss. “Last one!”

“I’m Sasuke Uchiha—just type ‘autistic’ and you’ll get my name, how fitting. There are many things I dislike, and not much I like. Instead of calling it a dream, I’d say I have an ambition! To restore the Uchiha clan, and… to kill that person.” Sasuke’s tone was icy, his words ending in barely concealed murderous intent.

“He doesn’t mean me, does he?” Naruto felt a sudden weight on his shoulders.

“Sasuke is so cool~!” Compared to the sunny prince, the dark, avenging nobleman was clearly more popular.

“Pity poor Itachi, his little brother is totally broken!” Shuster reflected.

“All right! Introductions are done. Tomorrow, meet at Training Ground Nine. Just a tip—don’t eat breakfast, or you’ll puke~” Kakashi and Shuster offered a ‘friendly’ warning before leaving.

——— Scene shifts to the Hatake residence ———

Night fell at the Hatake house.

“Heh, big brother, you really are cruel. Not letting them eat breakfast…” Shuster chuckled, skimming through a genjutsu scroll Kakashi had drafted at lightning speed that afternoon.

“Am I?” Kakashi scratched his face, feigning innocence. “Tomorrow’s the survival drill. How do you plan to handle them?”

“I’ll leave it to you. I might accidentally kill them,” Shuster replied, not looking up from the scroll.

“All right then. What if they challenge you?” Kakashi asked, knowingly.

“Hehe~ Kill them!” Shuster finally looked up with a wicked grin.

“…I’d better handle it. Your swordsmanship is only for killing. Sigh…” Kakashi shook his head in defeat.

“No worries. Experiencing death once in a while isn’t so bad. Besides, I just learned some new little illusions. Letting them die once should be a good lesson.” Shuster, smirking, ducked back behind the scroll.

“I’ll just pray for them tomorrow,” Kakashi thought, seeing how openly Shuster planned to use the three kids as genjutsu practice dummies.

——— Scene transitions to the training ground ———

Early the next morning, Shuster arrived at the training ground, still engrossed in the genjutsu scroll.

About ten minutes later, the three young hopefuls arrived one after another, none noticing Shuster leaning against a nearby tree, reading.

———

P.S. Suddenly I wonder if I should introduce a heroine. For some reason, Izayoi Sakuya seems like a good pick—imagine her throwing knives at the protagonist’s infinitely regenerating head, ha! Also, the rain just stopped, for now.