Chapter 11

On the morning of New Year's Eve, the three siblings walked through the snow to the back mountain to pay respects to their late mother, their hearts still preoccupied with thoughts of their uncle. Though they knew he would not come for the New Year's Eve, they still held on to a sliver of hopeful longing.

Even as night fell and the siblings kept vigil, their minds remained on this matter. Since their uncle had sent a message through their younger cousin, he would not break his word. He had always cherished them dearly; if something had prevented him from visiting, he would have surely sent word in advance, never letting them wait in vain.

Gao Nuan, sitting idly, could not help but let her mind wander with worry. Her uncle's health had always been poor—could it be that the recent days of relentless wind and snow had worsened his illness? Perhaps the household was so busy tending to him that they could not spare anyone to send a message?

Last year, upon hearing of her mother's passing, her uncle had fallen gravely ill, his health declining even further since then.

He must not come to harm!

Gao Nuan placed her hands together in prayer, silently begging the Bodhisattva to bless her uncle with health and longevity.

Gao Zhao too was filled with anxious concern.

Though Yu Shensi had no real memory of this uncle, he could not shake a sense of foreboding. Seeing the troubled faces of his siblings, he took Gao Nuan's hand, trying to comfort her: "It must be that uncle was on his way when it snowed, and he couldn't make it. With the bad weather, it was hard to send anyone to let us know. Once the snow melts, he'll surely come to see us."

Gao Nuan squeezed his small hand, half-embracing him, replying, "That must be it." She was soothing her younger brother but also persuading herself—she must not think ill; surely, their uncle was well.

On the first day of the new year, the ancestral hall of the Gao family was opened wide. Gao Mingtong had stayed in the capital this year, not returning, but Gao Mingda brought his sons and nephews back home to offer sacrifices. Gao Zhao, following family custom, entered the ancestral hall to pay respects, while Gao Nuan and Yu Shensi remained at home to honor their late mother.

At noon, Gao Zhao returned, and Gao Xi followed beside him, holding a bundle in his hand as they conversed while entering the courtyard. Once inside the main room, Gao Xi placed the bundle directly on the window-side desk, saying, "Brother Zhao, I copied this out stroke by stroke, so don't let me down—make sure to read it carefully!"

"What is it?" Gao Nuan asked.

Gao Xi, unwrapping the bundle, replied, "They're the notes I took during the tutor's lectures on the Four Books. Since you can't attend the lessons, I copied them out for you. Whenever the tutor finishes a scroll, I'll make a copy for you. That way, even if you don't study directly under him, you won't fall behind. Next year, you can take the county examination too." He took out a stack of books from the bundle—seven or eight volumes in all.

Cheerfully, he added, "I'm going to take the county exam this year myself. The tutor says that as long as I don't slack off, I should pass both the county and prefectural exams. Then, next year, I can join you for the provincial exam." He could not hide his excitement.

"Thank you, Xi," Gao Zhao said as he leafed through the volumes. Indeed, Gao Xi had taken diligent notes—the handwriting was neat, the content thorough. Many places were marked in red, highlighting the tutor's key points, which they were to study and ponder.

"It must have taken a lot of work to copy so much?" He had spent much of the previous year copying books himself and knew all too well how much time and effort it took.

Gao Xi smiled, sitting down on a stool, "Brother Zhao, why so formal with me? Copying them is also a way to review and deepen my own understanding. We promised we'd pass the scholar's exam together, then the provincial, then the metropolitan—have you forgotten?" He half-joked, half-serious.

When they made this promise, they were only nine years old. At that time, Gao Zhao had already passed the county and prefectural exams, but the tutor, seeing he was young and his learning shallow, told him to wait a few years for the provincial exam. Gao Xi had thrown an arm around him, joking that he should wait for him to catch up so they could take the provincial exam together and bring home two scholars in one year.

Who would have thought so much would change, and that they would sit for the provincial exam together in this way?

Gao Zhao smiled and nodded. "The county exam is next month. Focus on your preparations—I look forward to hearing your good news."

"I'll be sure to tell you when I pass."

The handwritten notes Gao Xi had brought were truly invaluable. Gao Zhao had already memorized the Four Books, but without a teacher to resolve the difficult passages, much remained obscure. These notes were a great gift, helping him to break through those bottlenecks.

He intended to try for the provincial exam next year. If he were to pass and become a scholar, his eldest sister would no longer have to struggle so hard, and his youngest brother could attend private school. With this thought, he opened a book and began to read.

Now, at the beginning of the first lunar month, the world outside was locked in ice and snow. The siblings neither made New Year visits nor received any guests, each attending to their own pursuits.

Yu Shensi, having finished two introductory primers in the past few months, had begun to read "Enlarged Collected Maxims" on his own. When Gao Zhao finished his own studies, he would come to teach him.

In his spare time, Yu Shensi practiced calligraphy or occasionally browsed Gao Zhao's books, and would rummage through the chest for "miscellaneous books."

So-called "miscellaneous books" were simply texts of little immediate value for the civil service exams, but by no means useless: works on agriculture, trade, joinery, hydrology, and geography. In the long run, these were closely tied to the exams. That was why Gao Zhao kept them carefully, untouched—now, with ample time, he wanted to learn as much as possible about the various trades of this era.

After the Lantern Festival, there was still no word from their uncle's household. The three siblings remained anxious, so Gao Nuan decided to send someone to Tianwan Village to inquire as soon as the weather warmed.

Before they could send anyone, their younger cousin arrived. Entering, he said, "Your little cousin fell ill before the New Year, so your uncle and aunt didn't bring him over. The roads were bad with the snow, and only now could I come to let you know, so you don't worry." He smiled as he spoke.

Gao Nuan, always observant, detected a trace of bitterness and worry behind his smile. He looked more haggard and thin than last year, with weariness in his eyes. Clearly, the illness was not minor, and the whole family was in distress.

Quickly, she asked, "How is little cousin now? Are uncle and aunt in good health?"

Nothing is harder for parents than a sick child, and her uncle and aunt had waited ten years for a child—they surely cherished him as their very life. Her uncle's health was poor, and he could not bear the strain.

Her cousin kept up the smile, "The weather has warmed, and he's much better now. Your uncle and aunt are well too."

The smile was clearly forced, a mask to keep them from worrying. Even now, their uncle was thinking of them.

Gao Nuan's heart ached. She wished she could go at once with her cousin to visit, but with mourning still upon them, such a visit would be inappropriate and might hinder her little cousin and uncle's recovery.

So she could only ask her cousin, "Thank you for looking after uncle and cousin. Please tell them to take good care of themselves—the journey is long, they shouldn't come to see us. When my mourning ends at the year's end, I will visit with my brothers."

Her cousin smiled and agreed, "You children are so dutiful—I'll be sure to pass on your words. Your uncle will be glad to hear them."

After he left, the three siblings' hearts remained uneasy.

At the end of February, Gao Xi came to tell them he had passed the county exam. Gao Nuan took the chance to ask him to inquire further. Half a month later, Gao Xi returned on his day off to say that their uncle and little cousin had recovered, but the child had been frail since birth, often falling ill, and it was said to be a condition from the womb. The siblings guessed he had inherited it from their uncle.

In mid-March, Mei'er was married, her wedding more grand than any other village girl’s. Most brides were fetched with ox carts or, at best, a small sedan chair borne by four. But for Mei’er, the bridal procession was a full eight-bearer palanquin, with drums and suona horns, parading from Gaojia Village to Fan Village—the grandest wedding the village had seen, bringing much pride to her and Aunt Gui’s family. The unmarried girls looked on with envy.

When Mei’er returned to her parental home three days later, Gao Nuan happened to meet her on the road after returning from the market.

Fan Lang drove the cart; Mei’er sat atop the ox cart, clad in new clothes, cheeks rosy as peaches, sunlight making her appear even more radiant. Upon seeing the siblings, Mei’er beamed, "Nuan, what did you buy? Is it heavy? Want to put it on the cart?" She patted an empty spot on the cart.

Gao Nuan smiled her thanks, "Thank you, Sister Mei’er, it’s not heavy—no trouble at all."

Fan Lang, seeing that Yu Shensi was a small child, even younger than his brother-in-law, politely said, "Little brother, why not ride? It’s still two li to Gaojia Village."

Knowing Gao Nuan was not fond of Mei’er, Yu Shensi smiled, "Thank you, I’m not tired."

Fan Lang was about to hurry the cart along, but Mei’er stopped him, saying she wanted to chat with Gao Nuan—it was only a short way, no need to rush.

But what could she have to say? The two were never close; whenever they met, Mei’er would pick at her, clearly disliking her. So this "chat" was nothing more than an opportunity to show off.

One sat, resplendent and leisurely, on the cart; the other, in plain, well-worn mourning clothes, carried a basket with her brother, walking on the road. The contrast was stark. Passersby, seeing two girls of similar age, could not help but compare them.

Though Mei’er was less beautiful than Gao Nuan, today, as a new bride returning home, with lightly traced brows and bright attire, she seemed more alluring. Yet, on closer look, Mei’er's beauty was only skin-deep, while Gao Nuan's shone from a quiet strength and composure. But to hurried passersby, it was the dazzling colors that caught the eye, making Gao Nuan seem dim by comparison.

Perched above her, Mei’er seemed to have the upper hand.

Gao Nuan understood this well. Her displeasure with Mei’er's actions was not out of concern for losing face—she disdained such petty competition. What truly vexed her was that, while she was still in mourning, Mei’er, in festive red and green, sat before her laughing and joking, deliberately provoking her and violating her taboos.

She glanced at Mei’er and asked with a smile, "Sister Mei’er, what flower did you embroider on your handkerchief?"

Mei’er looked down, pleased with herself—it was her own handiwork before marriage. She did not know what the flower was called, having only seen it in a floral compendium; it was large and lovely. Her sisters had all praised her skill, saying it even surpassed Gao Nuan’s, which gave her much satisfaction.

Seeing Gao Nuan’s interest, she assumed it was out of envy and displayed the handkerchief for her to see. "How does my embroidery compare to yours?"

She had used pale yellow and gold threads for the petals and stamens, deliberately altering the flower’s colors for auspiciousness, though the shape and leaves were still clear.

Gao Nuan smiled, "Your embroidery has always been the finest among us, and this piece is especially well done. However... did you know, Sister Mei’er, that the night-blooming cereus, also known as the Veda flower, is considered inauspicious?"

At the mention of bad luck, Mei’er’s face changed. "What nonsense! What night-blooming cereus, what Veda flower!"

Unhurried, Gao Nuan replied, "Fan Lang is well-read—he likely knows about the night-blooming cereus and the origin of the Veda flower’s name."

Fan Lang glanced back at his wife’s handkerchief—in the cluster of green leaves, it was indeed a night-blooming cereus. He frowned; the flower’s fleeting bloom symbolized short life, while the Veda flower implied marital separation. He rebuked her in a low voice, "Put it away!"

Seeing her husband displeased, Mei’er, realizing Gao Nuan spoke the truth, flushed with embarrassment and stuffed the handkerchief into her bundle, urging Fan Lang to drive faster.

As the cart rolled away, Mei’er continued to glare at Gao Nuan.

After that day, Tiger Head no longer came to study with Gao Zhao. Later, he was seen in Fan Village, learning from Fan the Scholar. Aunt Gui was all pride, boasting of Tiger Head’s progress and how Fan the Scholar declared him a future prodigy.

Thus, the siblings enjoyed a bit more peace.

*

Before the Dragon Boat Festival, Gao Xi came again with books for Gao Zhao, and told him he had also passed the prefectural exam, so they could prepare together for next year’s provincial examination.

The books Gao Xi brought last time had already been thoroughly studied by Gao Zhao. This time, Gao Xi stayed longer; the two discussed their studies, exchanged essays, and in the late afternoon, Gao Xi took Gao Zhao’s writings back for the tutor to review.

Yu Shensi sat nearby, listening to the scholarly talk all afternoon, once again feeling the arduousness of the examination path. It was only the provincial exam, yet already it seemed a mountain before him. He rose and returned to his room to read.

On the twenty-sixth of the seventh month, the anniversary of Lady Yu’s death, Gao Xi came again to pay respects. He mentioned Gao Mingjin, far away in the capital.

"Second Uncle had a new son at the start of the month."

The three siblings fell silent for a long while before Gao Nuan asked, "How is Xiao Hui?"

"Uncle didn’t mention him," Gao Xi replied, sensing her concern, "But Second Uncle has always doted on Xiao Hui. The capital is not like home—it's more comfortable, and he’s still young. Second Uncle wouldn’t make him observe mourning for his mother as you have. I’m sure his life is easier than yours now."

Gao Nuan responded quietly. Gao Mingjin’s fondness for his second son was only because the boy was born the same day he succeeded at the autumn exams—he considered him a lucky charm. Now, with his rise in the world and a brilliant future ahead, would he care for his second son as before? The boy lagged behind his elder brother in studies and was less obedient than the youngest; with a new son now, would he still spare a thought for the second?

She always thought too much. She asked Gao Xi for more news from the capital.

Gao Xi’s knowledge was limited—he had only heard that the new second aunt was the daughter of the Minister of Personnel, but her looks and temperament were unknown.