Chapter 136: Dogs Are Big Gossips

Chapter 136: The Gossip Dog

Little Su blushed, so she selectively listened to the dog, completely ignoring its suggestion of a match, and asked, "Is your scoundrel big brother really that well-read?"

The dog immediately perked up, bragging, "Oh yeah, my scoundrel big brother is a Peking University graduate, you know Peking University? That school... that scholarship... you know?"

Little Su frowned and asked, "Where is Peking University? Is it famous? How come I've never heard of it?"

It would be a miracle if she had. One day and night in the Wall Realm was equivalent to fifty years in the Great Floating Departure World. Even if she had somehow heard of such a university and wanted to visit it, if she were just a little slow, the school probably wouldn't even exist anymore.

Little Su asked, "Doggy, what can your scoundrel big brother actually do?"

The dog proudly tilted its small chin, placed its hands on its hips, and bounced on its paws. "My scoundrel big brother can do... so, so many things..."

"Like...?"

"Like?"

The dog blinked its bright, shining eyes and said, "Like... he can sing! That song completely captivated Sister Yueyi, making her lose her soul. And... um... he can compose poetry too..."

"Compose poetry?"

"What kind of skill is that?"

"Doggy, you mean recite poetry, right?"

The dog nodded eagerly. "Right, right! Whenever the scoundrel big brother recites poetry, Sister Yueyi stares at him with a blank gaze, hee-hee."

They say scholars always look down on one another.

No matter what, Little Su was a renowned talented woman across the Northern Heavens. How could she bear to hear someone praise another person's poetry as being able to leave the number one beauty dumbfounded and soul-stirred?

Thus, Little Su shot a hostile glare at Tuzhe, only to find him engrossed in a book. It was an anthology of poetry written by high deities of the heavens, collecting works by famous literary stars and great talents of the Northern Heavens.

Little Su walked up to Tuzhe, looked at the section he was reading titled *Drinking Couplets of the Gods*, and teasingly asked, "Little Heavenly Son, can you even understand that?"

Tuzhe sighed, tossed the poetry anthology aside, and said, "I've never seen poetry written quite so terribly."

*Oh gods, you're making me so disappointed, haha.*

Little Su rolled her eyes into the back of her head, thinking to herself, *You sure know how to brag! While I might not exactly worship these poems, they were written by famous talents of the heavens after all!*

Little Su's respect for Tuzhe dropped a notch.

Being young wasn't your fault, but being arrogant and frivolous showed a lack of depth, right?

So, Little Su said, "I know you're a great talent, Little Heavenly Son. How about this? Are you familiar with couplets? They supposedly originated from the Great Floating Departure World and are very popular in the Northern Heavens. Can you compose a matching couplet?"

What kind of brain did Tuzhe have? He immediately realized that Little Su was displeased, blaming him for being arrogant and lacking humility. But it was no big deal anyway. Couplets? Just name the prompt.

The dog clapped its little paws and shrieked, " Yay, yay! Scoundrel big brother is going to show off his skills! Go for it, scoundrel big brother, and try to win Sister Su back to be your wife, hee-hee—"

***

How could Little Su possibly pay attention to the dog's teasing? She immediately threw out her challenge.

She explained, "In the Great Floating Departure World, there is a poetic form called the 'poetry bell,' where one must complete a topic within a given time limit. It is divided into four formats: first, separate chanting; second, joint chanting; third, veiled chanting; and fourth, embedded character chanting. How about we start with a joint chant today? You know what a joint chant is, right?"

Tuzhe smiled and said, "You mean someone gives a prompt character, and then we write a matching couplet that expresses the meaning of the prompt without using the prompt character directly in the lines, right?"

Little Su nodded. "Oh, so you do know! Then I'll give you the prompt. Hmm... let's use the character for 'Snow' (*Xue*). Is five hundred finger-snaps enough time?"

Tuzhe rubbed his nose and replied, "That's way too long. One hundred finger-snaps should be plenty."

Little Su glared at Tuzhe and said, "Go ahead and brag. Let's see how you face people if you can't come up with anything later."

With that, Little Su began snapping her fingers one by one.

After just a brief pause—barely a dozen snaps—Tuzhe smiled and said, "Got it, haha."

Little Su was startled. *So fast?*

Tuzhe put his hands behind his back with a swaggering air and, looking as graceful as a jade tree in the wind, chanted:

*Ten thousand trees of pear blossoms frost the emerald branches,*
*A thousand rivers of willow catkins raise their jade wings high.*

*Ah—*

Little Su pondered the lines carefully, and her jaw dropped so wide she couldn't close it.

Startled by her own gasp, which made her look uncomposed, Little Su quickly put on an expression of nonchalance.

*Thinking to herself:* *What are you showing off for? Just you wait, I'll give you something harder.*

Without realizing it, Little Su had already fallen into a game of trying to outdo Tuzhe. Of course, she hadn't noticed that she was the one who had accidentally set up this game in the first place.

So, Little Su snorted and said, "How about this? Let's do a 'Plum and Snow' Seven-Chant sequence. Think you can handle that?"

Tuzhe looked at Little Su with a meaningful gaze, thinking, *Ah, another literary young woman, haha.* Then, he wickedly thought: *I love literature, and I love literary young women even more.*

The pig-slaughterer felt a sudden urge to flirt.

To be honest, it was mostly driven by his competitive nature—he didn't want the beauty to look down on him. He never stopped to consider that if she started thinking too highly of him and couldn't sleep because of it, and he couldn't guarantee whether he could offer her anything in return, wasn't he just causing trouble for people?

However, once the pig-slaughterer got excited, his brain short-circuited a bit. He only cared about showing off to win a sky full of little stars in Little Su's eyes. As for the consequences, this fellow would undoubtedly ask with shameless astonishment: *Do I need to consider that?*

So, the pig-slaughterer said, "Seven chants? It's not impossible, but hey, shouldn't there be a prize to really spark some inspiration?"

Little Su asked, "What kind of spark do you want?"

The pig-slaughterer pretended to ponder deeply and said, "How about this? Both of us compose a seven-chant sequence, and then we judge with a clear conscience who comes out on top—how's that?"

***

*Damn it,* what kind of phrasing was that? "Comes out on top"? Wasn't that making a suggestive remark to her?

Would it kill you just to say "determine the winner or loser"? Needless to say, he hadn't done it by accident; it was definitely intentional, if not calculated.

Tuzhe inwardly despised his own frivolity.

Little Su didn't have nearly as many thoughts running through her head as he did. She simply asked, "If we determine a winner and a loser, what's the prize?"

Tuzhe purposely glanced at the dog.

The dog immediately raised its little paws and waved them frantically. "I'll choose, I'll choose! If the scoundrel big brother wins, Sister Su has to give him a kiss; if Sister Su wins... the scoundrel big brother has to give Sister Su a kiss, hee-hee..."

Little Su's face instantly flushed red like glowing sunset clouds. She glared reproachfully at the dog, thinking, *Whose side are you on? No matter what happens, that damn scoundrel gets the advantage, right?* Feeling a mix of shyness and annoyance, she asked, "And what if it's a tie?"

The dog blinked its round eyes and replied in a baby voice, "Then you just kiss each other!"

Little Su finally abandoned her lady-like demeanor. Placing both hands on her hips, she furrowed her brow, glared fiercely like a female demon, and scolded the dog, "You—you—you—you—!"

Tuzhe chuckled to himself from the side and feigned criticism of the dog. "Doggy, what kind of idea is that? If Sister Su loses, doesn't she lose both her person and her first kiss? At least leave Sister Su some dignity, right?"

*Huh?*

*I'm going to lose?*

Little Su's attention immediately shifted to the issue of winning and losing. She glared right back at Tuzhe and snapped, "Are you saying you're guaranteed to win against me?"

Rubbing his nose, Tuzhe replied, "Well, you know, I'd say I have a fifty percent chance of winning?"

Little Su was a genuinely talented woman across the Northern Heavens; how could she possibly think she only had a fifty percent chance of victory? With a cold snort through her nose, she declared, "Bring it on! And whoever loses isn't allowed to back out."

As soon as the words left her mouth, she remembered the prize and froze. *Is there really any difference between losing and winning? This damn dog really ruins people's lives.*

Blushing fiercely, Little Su stammered, "Um, listen here, the prize needs to be changed. If you lose, I get to kick you once. If I lose, you... you..."

Little Su wanted to say, "If I lose, you give me a kiss," but how could such words ever escape the lips of a pure maiden?

So, Little Su stumbled over her "yous" for a long time without managing to finish the sentence.

Seeing her face turned completely red, Tuzhe felt he might have taken the joke a bit too far. With a smile, he said:

"If I lose, you kick me once."

"If you lose, you can kick me twice, how's that?"

*Haha...*