Volume One, Chapter Nine: Size Changing and What to Eat When Hungry?

Chapter Nine: Changes in Size and What to Eat When Hungry?

Today was destined to be a day of hardship for Jin Mu as a father.

Giving birth to a celestial son was no small matter. Just look at Tu Zhe’s stature at birth—already half as tall as Jin Mu himself. By the time Tu Zhe was born, Jin Mu’s vitality had greatly diminished; to have another child after that nearly cost him half his life.

On Mount Sumeru, the thirty-two minor celestial kings each had their own sons and daughters, but these offspring did not simply arrive at will. The fortunate ones might bear a child every decade or so; the less lucky might only have one or two in a thousand years. Altogether, the celestial princes and princesses numbered around eighteen hundred, which sounds considerable, but one must remember that time for the heavens and time for the mortal realm are not the same. A single day and night on Mount Sumeru equals a hundred years on Earth, granting the celestial beings a lifespan of thirty-six million five hundred thousand years—eternal life, perhaps not, but longevity without question. In such vast spans of time, to have so few children—are they many? Not at all! Take Jin Si, for example; he has spent several million years on Mount Sumeru, which would seem endlessly long on Earth, yet he has not produced even a single son.

Among the thirty-three billion celestial beings on Mount Sumeru, not everyone is a prince or princess. Aside from the sons and daughters of Indra and the thirty-two minor celestial kings, the others are simply the celestial populace—ordinary folk, so to speak. Even in birth, the distinction between commoners and celestial royalty is vast. The birth of a prince or princess has already been briefly mentioned and need not be repeated here. As for the common celestial beings, their birth relies on marriage and the union of yin and yang. Though they possess various supernatural abilities befitting minor celestial beings, their access to resources and cultivation methods is worlds apart from those of the princes and princesses.

Of course, even as commoners, it matters greatly where one lives. The commoners of Mount Sumeru, though essentially servants, fall entirely under the life-and-death authority of Indra, the celestial kings, and the princes and princesses. Still, they enjoy long lives and magical abilities unimaginable to mortals on Earth. To earthly mortals, the commoners of Mount Sumeru are gods. Yet, to the nobility of Mount Sumeru, these abilities are merely the basic requirements for serving them.

Ultimately, the princes and princesses of Mount Sumeru’s thirty-three heavens are a rare breed. Even Indra, the chief of Mount Sumeru, has only ten sons. Thus, Jin Mu, who managed to bear two celestial sons in a single day, was the object of intense envy from his brother Jin Si, whose eyes seemed ready to burst into flames and incinerate his illustrious sibling.

As they spoke, the large swelling beside Jin Mu’s knee burst open, and a surge of lightning erupted. A celestial prince, similar in size to Tu Zhe, tore open the swelling himself, wrapped in blue lightning, and leapt forth.

As soon as he touched the ground, the boy transformed the lightning into a long robe to cover himself, sparing the dog’s eyes from any impropriety. Tu Zhe watched with both envy and surprise.

Hiss... This boy must be my brother. He looks quite extraordinary. Look at him—landed and immediately conjured clothes to hide himself. Is this... innate supernatural ability?

The crack on Jin Mu’s knee closed instantly, but after bearing two sons in succession, most of his vitality was drained. His expression grew weary, and he muttered a few syllables resembling incantations. Instantly, his body shrank from several kilometers in length to less than four meters.

Tu Zhe gaped, eyes round and greedy, looking very much like a pig. The dog was dissatisfied, tearing at his large face and growling, “Hey, rogue brother, what kind of image is that? So embarrassing. Want to shrink? Just keep thinking ‘small, small, small, small, small,’ and you’ll end up as small as your miserly father.”

Tu Zhe coughed, pretending he knew all along. He shot the dog a sidelong glance and began to recite in his mind, though he added many more words: “All gods, immortals, Buddhas, Zeus, Jesus, Holy Mary, Abraham, Muhammad, Allah, supreme beings—make me small, please! Let me be one meter eighty-nine, two meters twenty-three, at most three meters... small, small, small, small, small...”

Sure enough, as he recited, his form shrank to about two meters thirty-four. The dog, Ye Ma, squinted her jeweled eyes in delight. “Now that’s better. Biting, twisting, kicking—I’ll finally get some satisfaction, hehe...”

Tu Zhe breathed a long sigh. Damn, now I finally look a bit more human. Two meters thirty? If I were on Earth, Yao Ming would have nothing on me. NBA? I’d block every shot and send your pretty basket flying.

Apparently, the newly born, extraordinary little brother didn’t need instruction—he simply thought and shrank to two meters twenty. Tu Zhe nodded in approval. Good, he knows to let his elder brother take precedence. This little brother, picked up from nowhere, seems clever and considerate.

While Tu Zhe was busy changing sizes, Jin Si rushed over, grabbing the boy in the lightning robe. He thought he’d easily squeeze him like an ant, but reconsidered, muttered a few words, and shrank to about four meters. He set the lightning boy on the ground, his eyes glowing green, making the boy frown.

The lightning boy respectfully and firmly pushed aside Jin Si’s large hand, bowed, and spoke with a thunderous voice, “I presume you are my uncle. Nephew Qin Lei greets his uncle...”

Jin Si grinned, nearly losing his teeth. “Hehe, Qin Lei, is it? From now on, don’t call me uncle—call me father.” Then, turning to the weary Jin Mu, he said, “Brother, let’s settle it this way. This son is mine, each of us gets one...”

Jin Mu forced a bitter smile. Little brother, how can you be so shameless? My son, and you just snatch him away? Shouldn’t you consider my feelings? It’s not easy being your elder brother. Still, he knew that Jin Si, after half a lifetime without children, was lonely and desolate. Although reluctant, he didn’t directly refuse him and said, “Brother, ask Qin Lei. If he’s willing, I won’t object...”

Jin Si tugged anxiously at Qin Lei. “Son, tell him you’re willing to be my son, hurry, hurry—”

Qin Lei smiled radiantly, though there seemed to be no warmth in his eyes. Tu Zhe sensed this little brother was not simple and began to pay attention to him.

Qin Lei knelt and bowed to Jin Mu. “Father, accept your son’s obeisance.”

Jin Mu smiled, his eyes crinkling, and glanced at his brother, who was slapping his thigh and sighing in frustration. Mine is mine, you can’t just take it. Yet, seeing his brother’s forlorn expression, he felt a pang of sympathy.

Qin Lei then turned to Jin Si, knelt, and bowed. “Second father, accept your son’s obeisance.”

Jin Si was stunned for a moment before realizing—no longer uncle, but second father. Second father or not, at least he’s called father. Jin Si was overjoyed, grinning foolishly.

Qin Lei wasn’t done. He stood, bowed deeply to Tu Zhe. “Elder brother, accept your younger brother’s obeisance.”

Tsk... Haha, look at this little brother’s etiquette—so different from my butcher background, though it gives me goosebumps.

Tu Zhe responded, unsure what to say. The dog waved her tiny paw in urgency, “Me, me! Am I not to be bowed to? Little Lei, call me sister, hehe...”

Qin Lei stared at the dog in surprise, blinking for a while, then gave a deep bow and called her sister. The dog’s eyes sparkled, and she tugged Tu Zhe’s hair, squealing, “Rogue brother, I’m not the youngest anymore—”

For a moment, Jin Mu’s little celestial king’s palace was lively, with the yaksha guards outside coming to offer congratulations. Everyone learned that Qin Lei was formed from a wisp of the Eastern Azure Thunder’s spirit, rewarded for many good deeds with the fate of reincarnating as a celestial prince. He would become the eldest son of the House of Lou, and his elder brother Tu Zhe would one day be formidable across the heavens. The crowd buzzed with excitement, believing that when these two celestial princes prospered, they too would benefit.

Once the merriment quieted, Jin Mu spoke earnestly to his sons, explaining that on Mount Sumeru, though everyone could grow to one yojana in height, only Indra the lord could maintain his true form at all times. The celestial kings, princes, princesses, yakshas, and other celestial beings were not permitted to reveal their true forms at will. Firstly, it was to maintain Indra’s majestic image; secondly, it was due to spatial limitations. Though Mount Sumeru’s peak was eighty thousand yojanas across—nearly nine hundred thousand miles on Earth—if everyone moved about in their true forms, the multitudes would fill the mountain to overflowing.

Thus, unless in war, when the gates of Mount Sumeru are breached, revealing one’s true form is subject to the Code of Hammurabi. Just now, when your uncle—well, your second father—and I manifested our true forms, it was behind closed doors. Open the doors, and who would dare? You two must remember: after today, never reveal your true form, or even as princes and princesses, you’ll be imprisoned for two days. Ordinary celestial beings would be executed outright. Even the thirty-two minor celestial kings may only reveal their true forms when collectively hearing Indra’s teachings in the Hall of Virtue.

Reveal your true form and be executed? Cold light flashed in Tu Zhe’s eyes—he recalled his previous life. Damn it, last life was full of hardship; is this life to be spent watching others’ faces, suffering indignities from irrelevant people? It seems there’s still the possibility of escaping or being treated thus. Damn it, this is exactly my frustration.

Tu Zhe said, “Father and uncle, do you have any powerful and quick cultivation methods for me to use?”

Powerful cultivation methods? And quick ones? That’s difficult. Generally, fast methods aren’t powerful; powerful ones aren’t quick. Jin Mu and Jin Si both felt their foreheads darken.

Beside them, Qin Lei tugged Tu Zhe’s sleeve. “Don’t worry, big brother. I’ve mastered powerful thunder techniques. You can begin cultivating them. If anyone dares offend you, I’ll unleash azure thunder, shock thunder, gold thunder, foul thunder, evil thunder, spirit thunder—blast them until their parents won’t recognize them.”

Tsk... Violence is crude and uncivilized. But... I like it, hehe.

The dog scoffed, “Stinky Lei, you act as if you’re so formidable. Here’s the deal: your sister will protect both you and rogue brother from now on. If anyone bullies you, watch me unleash eighty-four thousand techniques and beat them till they vomit milk from their last life.” She pounded her not-so-robust little chest, utterly unaware of any shame, declaring herself invincible.

Tu Zhe knew the dog’s origins were mysterious and didn’t doubt her. After all, it’s only Mount Sumeru—who could bite me, really?

Being backward means being beaten—this principle had been proven countless times in his previous life. Just as he relaxed, ready to ask his father and uncle for some cultivation methods, suddenly his stomach rumbled with thunder.

Damn, he was hungry.

But what could he eat?

Nine-turn golden elixir? Vitality pill? Qi gathering pill? Or some other kind of pill?